不知什么时候

不知什么时候
你的笑容不在那么灿烂
你的举止不再那么耍宝
你，变得端正，你，从大笑变微笑。
和你见面的那段短时间，已不再有你的气息。

或许，每个人都一样，变了。
以前那种感觉，那份气息，已不在。
脑海里的那种感觉，也没了。


是不是，
日子苦了？
是不是，
经历多了？

人生，没有大结局，
我们的相遇，也许是一种缘分，
但我不相信分离会是我们结局。

不知什么时候
我开始不在乎了
我开始累了
眼泪也缓缓的少了

还是，我已经变了？

Loner

有时候，真觉得自己很孤单。每次一个人走在行人道上，自己一个人吃着饭，自己一个人做自己喜爱的东西，不被身边的朋友所约束。可是，真正的原因是这样吗？不知道。只觉得很多时候我不被接受，无论我的言行举止，形态什么的，久了真的连我自己都觉得很厌烦，更何况是别人呢？
 别人对渐渐的冷漠，我也感受得到，自己知自己事。虽然有点痛苦，但是怎么样都要挨下去，谁叫我天生就是这副德行，从不讨人喜欢，甚至因为我对别人的热心而导致别人误会。我已经受够了。如果没有教会，我大概也没什么朋友会注意我。摆脱，我是谁啊？
受够闲言闲语，也因为他们，我无法抬起头，我的忽冷忽热，不被接受，更加别说我自己了。我只能说，再见了，热心的我，你好，冷漠的我。天生就孤独一个人，从开始到现在，都一样。强忍的眼泪总就好是要忍着，要忍着。。。

Trial

Somehow, all of us went through trial, no matter where or when, ever since we were bornt, challenges came, and we have to go through one by one to achieve to the next level.
What more can we do to surpass and to overcome it, by the strength of God.
A friend of mine, well... hope that we are still friend, he is still hiding himself out there, we tried our best to find him out, but things doesn't turn up well as we expected. Well friend, whatever things happen, you always have friends and family, but why do you wanna hide yourself from us, no matter physically or mentally, emotionally.
I like the song Anytime You Need A Friend, and I will be there. But when you have trouble, why don't you let us help you.
You know, being a friend of you, it is cruel to let your friend not surpass the difficult time together with you.

I hope you will be back, I want the friend that inspired me and made an impact to me that make me stay on until today. You can't just change my life and then check out....

Surprise

   Sometimes something doesn't have to be thought too much, I really cannot expect that I will receive the surprise from them. Not other people but them, hahaa, the shortest time we met, but they have the heart.
   Before that I suspect, because when I was trying to leave, they stopped all those practice(sorry....), then I pretend to do something to stay back. And really.... It was a surprise!
   but I have totally out of idea, what should I do? my heart is so damn warm and really impressed very much. (even i already know, but its very surprise to me).
  Thank You guys, even though you might not see this, but really, thank you.. I really can't expect this kind of things from you guys xD

奶奶的逻辑

   “Sam, 吃饱了吗？”
   “Sam, 饿了吗？饿了先吃个饼吧！饭很快好哦！”
   “Sam, 要红豆水吗？刚热得哦！”
    “Sam, 我还怕你不来，我要煮你最爱吃的豆腐松给你啦！”

    每个星期六到了外婆家外婆都会问我类似的这几个问题，当然！还有很多关于吃得。

    最近我看了一幅暴走图， 内容是奶奶觉得让孙子填饱肚子比世上任何一样东西还要重要。呵呵，虽然内容有点夸张，也反映了我们奶奶的性格，我外婆也是这样啊！
   看了这幅图，我突然想起一样东西。我老是曾经告诉我们班：

    “有位学者曾经说过，一个民族所食用的食物的味道能辨别该民族的历史悠久性。怎么说呢？比如说，一个历史有数百年的民族，我们说美国好了，大多数人民都喜欢吃些什么样味道的食物呢？是甜食吗？没错，有些民族也一样（不方便透露那么多)，我们往往能够清楚地以他们喜好的食物味道来预计到他们民族的历史悠久性。
    那么华人呢？华人历史有数千年，数千年.....猜猜什么味道最适合呢？对了，苦.... 别说其他食物，就拿我们的中国茶来说吧！中国茶的味道，当我们喝进去的时候，苦是往往我们先尝到的味道，然后我们会享受到一些甜甜的滋味，是吗？这就是所谓的甘甜，意味着苦尽甘来的意思。”

   那么这些什么所谓的民族喜好的味道和奶奶逻辑有什么关系呢？试想想，我们拿华人的苦茶来说说我们的奶奶吧！在我们的时代，我们好吃好住，当然不察觉啦。如果我们把我们自己放在他们的年代呢？
   在那年代，各种事发生，华人的历史，有很多时候，会被欺压，受苦，挨饿。每次当我们遇到长辈的时候，他们都会问我们：“吃饱了吗？” 不是有空就问你们几句，但是他们的潜意识会一直想着：“我们到底还会不会有下一餐温饱的饭菜。” 因为他们以前过得苦日子，而反映了今天的习惯。
   所以当外婆问我吃饱了没,我不觉得过分，因为在他们的年代，他们吃不饱，穿不暖。现在儿孙满堂，当然要孙子吃得好，穿得暖。不是吗？

For The Record, by Mariah Carey

A song that pierce through my heart with the song rhythem but not the lyrics, maybe I will feel the lyrics someday in the future when I have my life partner with me. Even it is an old song, but the song is nice
"Baby, baby, babyMy love
Hey, for the recordYou oughta knowYou wasn't thinkingWhen you let me go

But whateverThat's how it goesWin some you lose someAnd others you hold in your heart

Why it gets so hardTears you all apartEven though you try to let goNo, no, no

Suddenly you're hereAnd it's so surrealAnd I don't knowWhat the deal

'Cause when I'm looking in your eyesFeels like the first timeGive me one good reason whyWe can't just press rewind

I don't wanna spend my lifeThinking what it could've been likeIf we had another try, one timeLike back in the day that look on your faceFeels like the first time

Them other irregularitiesThey can't compete with MCThe whole entire world can tellThat you love yourself some me

People see ya knowAsking all aboutMe and how they always thoughtWe were so perfect together

Let's re-write the endStart over againAnd it's gon' go better now

'Cause when I'm looking in your eyesFeels like the first timeGive me one good reason whyWe can't just press rewind

I don't wanna spend my lifeThinking what it could've been likeIf we had another try, one timeLike back in the day that look on your faceFeels like the first time

For the recordYou'll always be a part of meNo matter what you do

And for the recordCan't nobody sayI didn't give my all to you

And for the recordI told you underneath the starsThat you belong to me

For the recordIt's obvious thatWe just can't let go of us, honey

'Cause when I'm looking in your eyesFeels like the first timeGive me one good reason whyWe can't just press rewind

I don't wanna spend my lifeThinking what it could've been likeIf we had another try, one timeLike back in the day that look on your faceFeels like the first time

'Cause when I'm looking in your eyesFeels like the first timeGive me one good reason whyWe can't just press rewind

I don't wanna spend my lifeThinking what it could've been likeIf we had another try, one timeLike back in the day that look on your faceFeels like the first time

'Cause for the record, babyNow you know, now you know"by Mariah Carey

似曾相似的感觉

被排斥的感觉虽然已经习惯，但是当它回来时，我还是不习惯。

以为自己已经改变了，可能会遇到不错的人。

但是一队里总会有有心人，一如往常。

尽然他们那么用心良苦，我也不想辜负他们的“好”意。

有些事，看了就明白，不用多说，我总认为行动比说话更有用。

我明白了，可能是我多疑，但是，我总算明白你们的用意，你们的意图。

我不会哭，因为3年前已经为这种人哭过，也掉干了，也会过去的，会过去的.....