Sometimes, I just want a talk.

Sometimes, I just need somebody to talk to, a heart to heart talk, a emotional talk, brotherly talk, and not that kind of gossiping talk
 Sometimes, I have many things in my mind, I need to share it out, and make myself comfortable, I don't know how much long can I stand.
 I just need a conversation with my friends, some of my friends who I have heart to share with.
 Not typing, not through the phone, but its really come out and have a conversation, to let people see what's going on with me, I am not clear about myself too.

Flexibilty

 Sometimes I feel that flexibility is very important. For example is guiding young people nowadays, or i said our juniors, many times if we try to be more relief to them but not always push them, they will do better than what we expected.
   Should say like this, it means that when we tend to not to remind him/her the task, he/she will do much more better and more efficient, but if we keep on urging them the dateline is coming and they do no better, the outcome is not good at all. I discover this in college, Boys' Brigade, Dance and even some other places.
  For example, when I am leading the Suria Boys, many times I tend to keep on reminding them to hand in this hand in that, let's say, registration form, but end up just 1 or 2 handed in out of 7, I don't know why, but when I tend to leave it and let them have to automatic and try not to push, the effect is nicer than when I push them, but of course, it cannot be continuing like this, they need guidance. For example, when dueling with boot camp assignment, I didn't ask them :"hand in a wei, next week deadline liao, you haven't start ar??" , but I will just say:"so when is the dateline? you know right? okay, as long as you handed me in then ok, remember ya!" full stop, if we tend to be gan jiong, it will give them pressure and you won't get what you want at the end.
   In dance class too, my instructor won't give many advise, but just continuing practicing, less talking and pushing make us catch the dance step more clearer. In college, the more lecturer concern on our dateline, the less efficiency we have sometimes, seriously.
  So coaching and guiding sometimes is like playing kite, you have to soften your hand let it fly, when its too high, hold it back. same thing to guiding young people, they are just like kite, they need freedom and don't want us to nag them everyday, so we just soften our hand and let them fly, do whatever they want, what I want is the outcome, but when they were wrong and got problem, then we hold it back, stop the kite from flying and pull it back abit.... ;D

The Return

Long time never update this, but sometimes I think that keeping this unto myself is better than showing my feeling with others. I have a practice to write down my daily life into a journal, but of course not everyday, because I think that everyday is a part of my story, and my life is not that boring, and I have things to write down, maybe 1 day, someone will pick up my journal and read it, and they will understand more about me. I always have a dream that I will show my good fried my journal before we separate, who knows?
Along this 3 months, I learned alot, running BB company makes me feel that, I am kind of many things to handle, well, I also feel that I grow a lot, but of course, not enough, so I need to pick up myself and do my best. More stories, more to come...

New Year Goal?

Recently I have set a New Year resolution for myself, it is just some very simple step which lead me to a better person.
1. Always think of other first anytime anywhere, as God's people, I shall think of other people rather than just thinking of myself
2. Word of God everyday at least a passage from the bible a day
3. Speaking word of encouragement

烦

许久没更新，有很多东西发生，只不过，不知从何说起。
只能说自己没用，什么都做不好，事事不如意。
世界就是这样，我走到哪里，就有克住我的人。
只能说有时候，我被别人看底。所谓以小人之心夺君子之腹。
我只能说，对任何事，不再上心。
无论我付出多少，为多少事劳心劳力，流血流泪，还是有所谓的小人。
两个字，以为。可以让我心痛到极点。
两个字，以为。就判断我是一个这么卑鄙的人
两个字，以为。我就是别人眼中的坏人，小人，什么人？
两个字，就是这两个字，我已经放弃了，失望透顶。
不再上心，不再有冲刺。冲刺来个屁！！！

The Road Not Taken

" Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergroth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
by Robert Frost

When comes to decision making, I really have no choice.
I am choosing 2 paths, both paths are gonna make my life different.
But which one will I choose? I really don't know
Seeking for advice, from who?
Well at least I have 7 days

两个月没写部落格的我，最近过得怎么样了?这两个月的我，感触良多。高山低谷就还没走到这个地步。不过开始觉得有点寂寞了，想找个人来关心下，也想被关心。不知道被人抱在怀里的那一种感觉是不是那么美好？
生命中来来去去有人插肩而过，也有人停下来，在你心里种了一个让你无法磨灭掉的种子，等着他成长开花。也许，我不会遇到这一个人，也可能，这人已出现，也很有可能，我是这个人。
人总是贪婪，有人贪钱，有人贪色，有人贪玩。而我？我是哪一种贪新鲜的人吧？如有新奇的东西，我一定会去试一试，就是试过去真诚的爱一个人。以前不敢爱，是因为爱错，明知爱上一个不应该爱的人是一种错误，何必呢....
曾经一个朋友，他很真，我很喜欢他。别人认为他有点gay,但是他却又女朋友。有一天，他这样向我解释：“你知道为什么有些人会这么说我吗？” 我看着他，等待着他的答案。“因为我很想像有些女生一样，一样有人疼，有人关心，作为男人，你只能做关心人，疼爱人的那一个....."
我想想，其实，我是不是另一个他，一直期待别人来关心下我，就像个弟弟也好啊！！ 哈哈哈，真幼稚，真感性。
算了，不可能的事，永远都不可能，只能做主动的那一个了。