When you feel that you are in a comfort zone, sooner and later you will something is not right.
This is like what happen to me, well, as you can see that, I am getting more and more neutral, anything sad will not conquer my emotion, but somehow there is something makes me feel upset.
I was just speechless for currently what happen my friends, seems like problems never let go of them, or they never let go of problems?I hope they can discover and released one day.
Recently college seems going to happen something big, warfare? no idea, but I don't feel secure anymore when I was in college, the atmosphere already not there, my heart getting cooler and cooler, and my tears... it is not flowing anymore.
growing bigger mean problems are coming, I always see my friends posted many status in facebook saying that they are hurt, so on and so fault. but honest speaking, I am sad if anyone of my friends is hurt or emo, anyone. I tend to become a listener, I want to help my friend, I just want them to share what happen to me to make them feel better, I just want to be a listener, but, where is my speakers...
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
EMOTIONAL
Recently I just did many psychological test in facebook, they calculate it quite accurately, it is said that I am always happy towards people and I was trying to hide myself inside.
actually, yes, this is me. As I know, I was trying to be happy always, but as time goes by, I felt my heart is going heavier and heavier. I don't know what happen to me, but for sure I feel I am more emo internally but not externally. That's a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know.
I was trying to find a people to talk with, at least both of us share our struggles to each other to be balance. But nobody knows my intension, they just treated me as an ordinary people, a passer-by, or even a person that doesn't exist in their eyes if I didn't speak out. Maybe it is.
Day by day I live like an ordinary people, but one thing I improved from the past, that is I am out of control from my emotion
actually, yes, this is me. As I know, I was trying to be happy always, but as time goes by, I felt my heart is going heavier and heavier. I don't know what happen to me, but for sure I feel I am more emo internally but not externally. That's a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know.
I was trying to find a people to talk with, at least both of us share our struggles to each other to be balance. But nobody knows my intension, they just treated me as an ordinary people, a passer-by, or even a person that doesn't exist in their eyes if I didn't speak out. Maybe it is.
Day by day I live like an ordinary people, but one thing I improved from the past, that is I am out of control from my emotion
Monday, October 4, 2010
Random
Finally, after so many of laziness, I can get back to my blog, writing my personal life and story.
After so many struggles(actually not). Well, let's get back to topic, I find myself back, the 'me' that is quite emotional 1 year ago. I don't know why will he came back, but this time he is inside of my body but not outside, it means that he won't come out from my body to let people see him.
My emotion just act inwardly, is it a good thing? every time when I feel sad, I will just cried inwardly, and my tear would not flew out.Even though I tried my best to cry it out but it still doesn't work, maybe I haven't meet the biggest challenge and difficulty, the best way to hypnotize myself is to focus on my work, get cool in my work =).
Let's talk about something that make me happy. Recently, I just made a gift to 2nd Manjung, thankfully it is sent to there by one day, I am so excited after received the sms from my friend.
After so many struggles(actually not). Well, let's get back to topic, I find myself back, the 'me' that is quite emotional 1 year ago. I don't know why will he came back, but this time he is inside of my body but not outside, it means that he won't come out from my body to let people see him.
My emotion just act inwardly, is it a good thing? every time when I feel sad, I will just cried inwardly, and my tear would not flew out.Even though I tried my best to cry it out but it still doesn't work, maybe I haven't meet the biggest challenge and difficulty, the best way to hypnotize myself is to focus on my work, get cool in my work =).
Let's talk about something that make me happy. Recently, I just made a gift to 2nd Manjung, thankfully it is sent to there by one day, I am so excited after received the sms from my friend.
Monday, September 13, 2010
A Visit to Sitiawan
Finally I have my wish comes true to come to Sitiawan and visit my friends there. The first day I have my breakfast with Steven and Alan, my first time of meeting Steven, as I expected, he was a very nice guy. Previously I just saw him in facebook, well, I was treated as a guest, but I was like a helper. Later then I went to some places and some houses and visit them.
We do a lot a lot of lame but funny things, in Juo Keong's father Cafe, we have videography, which the actors are Eddie and Alan. I had a really great time, this was my first time traveling alone as an outsider to Sitiawan. Well, feeling good.
My tour guide Andrew introduce me to some places, he is a very good person though. Although sometimes he is abit out of control.
From the rehearsal to the practice, arranging chairs and tables, and the actual dinner, I learned a lot from them, their system, their work, and I also go and instruct them how to do in an efficient way, it is quite funny when you see people do what you taught them, it reminded me when I was Form 1.
It is so hard to accept the fact, I had been through the last night in Sitiawan. Time really flying, I feel like my tears are flowing through, I can't see all my friends here one by one, but at least I know they are well enough, I was glad
I learned many things and I learned how to treasure the relationships and friendship. Although it seems nothing to people, but as and outsider I saw a lot, I can move on and share a lot, tear, laughter should not be ender here, but it may be continued by us, but not together, it is in different timing, places and different people.
I have many words to say to them one by one, as an advice, I hope it will be chances. After this, I felt myself charge enough, I learned a most important thing in a company is communication, without communications, it is like nothing. I felt very blessed to be BB, and I felt glad to have my members, officers, Captain and Chaplain moving with me. Thanks 2nd Manjung, for teaching me that what is unity, and thanks for letting me know that the source of Unity and a company, I will take it as a lesson, Shine like a Star, Be strong and courageous!
We do a lot a lot of lame but funny things, in Juo Keong's father Cafe, we have videography, which the actors are Eddie and Alan. I had a really great time, this was my first time traveling alone as an outsider to Sitiawan. Well, feeling good.
My tour guide Andrew introduce me to some places, he is a very good person though. Although sometimes he is abit out of control.
From the rehearsal to the practice, arranging chairs and tables, and the actual dinner, I learned a lot from them, their system, their work, and I also go and instruct them how to do in an efficient way, it is quite funny when you see people do what you taught them, it reminded me when I was Form 1.
It is so hard to accept the fact, I had been through the last night in Sitiawan. Time really flying, I feel like my tears are flowing through, I can't see all my friends here one by one, but at least I know they are well enough, I was glad
I learned many things and I learned how to treasure the relationships and friendship. Although it seems nothing to people, but as and outsider I saw a lot, I can move on and share a lot, tear, laughter should not be ender here, but it may be continued by us, but not together, it is in different timing, places and different people.
I have many words to say to them one by one, as an advice, I hope it will be chances. After this, I felt myself charge enough, I learned a most important thing in a company is communication, without communications, it is like nothing. I felt very blessed to be BB, and I felt glad to have my members, officers, Captain and Chaplain moving with me. Thanks 2nd Manjung, for teaching me that what is unity, and thanks for letting me know that the source of Unity and a company, I will take it as a lesson, Shine like a Star, Be strong and courageous!
Monday, August 16, 2010
1st day in 2nd semester
Finally, 2nd semester already arrived, well, new semester with new environment. our campus eventually move to Subang, the room and the hall is much more wider, we have exhibition corner and somemore there will be a stage.
Normally I will deny new stuff but this time I am open to accept it, because it is my college. After several times of visiting inside the new campus, I was like lose some excitement due to it is actually wide but nothing to see and nothing to surprise me. Before entering new semester I had visited once. Well, It's Like that.
Try to imagine the first day of this semester we got our homework. Can't blame, I am too hardworking to bring all those art materials to college, since we have our tools, why don't, but in the end, all things have to sponsor by me.
It will be a long long days for me to walk around and figuring out what the campus surrounding looks like. Hope this new environment can give me a fresh and also positive mind. Designers need positive mind.
Normally I will deny new stuff but this time I am open to accept it, because it is my college. After several times of visiting inside the new campus, I was like lose some excitement due to it is actually wide but nothing to see and nothing to surprise me. Before entering new semester I had visited once. Well, It's Like that.
Try to imagine the first day of this semester we got our homework. Can't blame, I am too hardworking to bring all those art materials to college, since we have our tools, why don't, but in the end, all things have to sponsor by me.
It will be a long long days for me to walk around and figuring out what the campus surrounding looks like. Hope this new environment can give me a fresh and also positive mind. Designers need positive mind.
Friday, August 6, 2010
旅程
放了这么久的假，开始发霉了，头脑里一大堆设计的idea好像走完了。对，没错，我的头脑是有点发霉了，谁叫我这么懒，还有一个星期的时间，也是时候收拾会遗失的自己，因为要回到校园了。不知能不能过得了这个学期。
假期时我只在面子书上和朋友交流交流，大多数都是从实兆远来的朋友。说一说最近的状况，为什么在自闭，emo等等，老实说，对着他们，我格外开心，至少我可以好像大哥哥这般的安慰他们鼓励他们。发觉自己长大了很多，可是也觉得自己是多么的幼稚，会合这些小毛头玩的那么癫。虽然我们在营里才短短的五天，这五天我们已有了深厚的感情，不像在课室里的同学一样，需要很长的一段时间就认识。可能我们有一样的爱好，一样的热血，一样的三八....哈哈，想起也好笑，可是好的日子并不长，分离始终是痛苦的，虽然我已无憾，但是怎么样也会有点相思之苦。
这一次我被邀请到实兆远，他们会有个15周年纪念，听起来很好玩，想去学学东西顺便看一看我的远方的朋友，就连我的队长也看得出我去实兆远的目的，也太了解我了吧！话说回来，我真的很想很想很想x100见他们，我觉得他们也有同感，谁叫我们曾经感动过他们，这一次的机会我是不会这么容易放过的。
可惜，因为我这里没有战友，没人能陪我去....所以我家人就有点反对咯。我也终于打消了这个念头...其实和他们无关，前两天我梦见我和他们其中一人说对不起，我无缘出席，所以才做出这决定，因为在那梦之前，我曾经祷告给上帝，如果我不能去的话，给我一个梦吧！我不相信上帝真的这么做，很大可能是我日有所思夜有所梦。
事事总有转机，我在msn里巧遇一个贵人，她帮助我解决了一个问题，她说实兆远有人在KL求学，可能他可以帮得了我。对没错，它可以帮得了我，但是我还是要等他的答复。我真的很希望这个答复和我的计划不会相差太远。希望这趟旅程是可行的，我真的很希望，很渴望...
假期时我只在面子书上和朋友交流交流，大多数都是从实兆远来的朋友。说一说最近的状况，为什么在自闭，emo等等，老实说，对着他们，我格外开心，至少我可以好像大哥哥这般的安慰他们鼓励他们。发觉自己长大了很多，可是也觉得自己是多么的幼稚，会合这些小毛头玩的那么癫。虽然我们在营里才短短的五天，这五天我们已有了深厚的感情，不像在课室里的同学一样，需要很长的一段时间就认识。可能我们有一样的爱好，一样的热血，一样的三八....哈哈，想起也好笑，可是好的日子并不长，分离始终是痛苦的，虽然我已无憾，但是怎么样也会有点相思之苦。
这一次我被邀请到实兆远，他们会有个15周年纪念，听起来很好玩，想去学学东西顺便看一看我的远方的朋友，就连我的队长也看得出我去实兆远的目的，也太了解我了吧！话说回来，我真的很想很想很想x100见他们，我觉得他们也有同感，谁叫我们曾经感动过他们，这一次的机会我是不会这么容易放过的。
可惜，因为我这里没有战友，没人能陪我去....所以我家人就有点反对咯。我也终于打消了这个念头...其实和他们无关，前两天我梦见我和他们其中一人说对不起，我无缘出席，所以才做出这决定，因为在那梦之前，我曾经祷告给上帝，如果我不能去的话，给我一个梦吧！我不相信上帝真的这么做，很大可能是我日有所思夜有所梦。
事事总有转机，我在msn里巧遇一个贵人，她帮助我解决了一个问题，她说实兆远有人在KL求学，可能他可以帮得了我。对没错，它可以帮得了我，但是我还是要等他的答复。我真的很希望这个答复和我的计划不会相差太远。希望这趟旅程是可行的，我真的很希望，很渴望...
Friday, July 16, 2010
Sad Songs
Recently I was listening 2 songs, these songs are about leaving. After listening this song I was like..... well, I really don't want to let you go, but I can't, you cannot, instead, all of us cannot stay a people as we like, because the world is like that. (dunno what Am I talking, so abstract). Well, I am not talking about relationship but in friendship. I missed someone all somebody who stay far away from me, we know each other for so period of time but we still can chat like good friends, but the time for us to relate with each other is too few.
That is a song saying that the hardest thing to do is saying bye. Everyone might say: 'come on! the hardest thing to do is say sorry, bla bla bla,' but does anyone know the true meaning behind this statement :The hardest thing to do is saying bye? It is actually saying that we can't let go, I mean, how willing are you to say goodbye to your good friend when you and him/her are going to separate and will never meet for a long time or forever?
Recently, I love to use this 3 words as my quote, when you see me saying or posting these 3 words, it means that I am in a very struggling, frustrating, sad, angry, arrogant mood, these 3 words give me a attitude of accepting the fact, so it is not negative to me, so please be ware when I am saying: Its Like That =)
That is a song saying that the hardest thing to do is saying bye. Everyone might say: 'come on! the hardest thing to do is say sorry, bla bla bla,' but does anyone know the true meaning behind this statement :The hardest thing to do is saying bye? It is actually saying that we can't let go, I mean, how willing are you to say goodbye to your good friend when you and him/her are going to separate and will never meet for a long time or forever?
Recently, I love to use this 3 words as my quote, when you see me saying or posting these 3 words, it means that I am in a very struggling, frustrating, sad, angry, arrogant mood, these 3 words give me a attitude of accepting the fact, so it is not negative to me, so please be ware when I am saying: Its Like That =)
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