Insecure

When you feel that you are in a comfort zone, sooner and later you will something is not right.
This is like what happen to me, well, as you can see that, I am getting more and more neutral, anything sad will not conquer my emotion, but somehow there is something makes me feel upset.
I was just speechless for currently what happen my friends, seems like problems never let go of them, or they never let go of problems?I hope they can discover and released one day.
Recently college seems going to happen something big, warfare? no idea, but I don't feel secure anymore when I was in college, the atmosphere already not there, my heart getting cooler and cooler, and my tears... it is not flowing anymore.
growing bigger mean problems are coming, I always see my friends posted many status in facebook saying that they are hurt, so on and so fault. but honest speaking, I am sad if anyone of my friends is hurt or emo, anyone. I tend to become a listener, I want to help my friend, I just want them to share what happen to me to make them feel better, I just want to be a listener, but, where is my speakers...

EMOTIONAL

Recently I just did many psychological test in facebook, they calculate it quite accurately, it is said that I am always happy towards people and I was trying to hide myself inside.
actually, yes, this is me. As I know, I was trying to be happy always, but as time goes by, I felt my heart is going heavier and heavier. I don't know what happen to me, but for sure I feel I am more emo internally but not externally. That's a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know.
I was trying to find a people to talk with, at least both of us share our struggles to each other to be balance. But nobody knows my intension, they just treated me as an ordinary people, a passer-by, or even a person that doesn't exist in their eyes if I didn't speak out. Maybe it is.
Day by day I live like an ordinary people, but one thing I improved from the past, that is I am out of control from my emotion

Random

Finally, after so many of laziness, I can get back to my blog, writing my personal life and story.
After so many struggles(actually not). Well, let's get back to topic, I find myself back, the 'me' that is quite emotional 1 year ago. I don't know why will he came back, but this time he is inside of my body but not outside, it means that he won't come out from my body to let people see him.
My emotion just act inwardly, is it a good thing? every time when I feel sad, I will just cried inwardly, and my tear would not flew out.Even though I tried my best to cry it out but it still doesn't work, maybe I haven't meet the biggest challenge and difficulty, the best way to hypnotize myself is to focus on my work, get cool in my work =).

Let's talk about something that make me happy. Recently, I just made a gift to 2nd Manjung, thankfully it is sent to there by one day, I am so excited after received the sms from my friend.