Strong

Its been a long time since I update my blog, this time I will start with stories of mine in Awards Camp.(No photo)
In the 4 days 3 nights camp, it has been a tough time, toughest wan is not that the physical toughness but the emotional and mental. I have come across with some mental disorder. Why?
First day, we are require to build a raft to sail it on the water which need some material, as a team leader I took a responsibility to take some order, end up with we just "less taken" something. What happen, the trainer scolded me in front of all those members. The first thing, I was angry and sad at a same time, A clear instruction is given, but why still wrong, and means that I wrong? Why I have to receive this kind of punishment? if I said I am not wrong, but no one will be on my stand. That time after getting scolded, I nearly cried, but I just endured, it is hard to endure your tear from dropping from you eyes.
What can I say? this camp is the unluckiest one for me to take lead, in my team no one took initiative to do things, I was like a man pulling a bunch of cows to move on, no on likes to move. Finally, Good, get scolded again, I can say that to be a leader, they don't appreciate me at all, I am not saying that I am perfect, but they are like a bunch of bull(or worse than that?), A bull will move when it get bitten, but they wont move even you hit them for 5 to 6 times.
I already fed up for sometimes, some of my members ask me why inside the camp, Why will I be like that, I just said: nothing, just leave me alone. But actually I am crying in my heart, I am sad that I cannot be an influence leader, and I am very frustrating to move a bunch of so called burden. but in my heart, I always tell myself, I have to be strong, I have to move on, that's why I can stand until now, no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

空虚

好久没有写blog了，不过也不够和别人谈心事久，大概...10个月？一年？大概吧！觉得自己越来越不打紧，以前的自己慢慢的消失，总觉得现在的我欠了点东西，里面空了。
为什么空？不知道，可能一直在最求一些日常生活因该做的。好吧！都18岁了，应该变了，变得....不知道，我已经越来越迷失，不认识自己，不认识现在的我，很陌生，我到底是好人，还是一个很讨人厌的人？开始在想，怎么也没答案，身边每一个人可以告诉我，因为，好友都不在我身边陪着我，与我同行，最求同一个未来...