I felt depressions keep coming into my mind and stop me moving forward. I don't know but the pressure that given by the upper positions really make me cannot breathe, I was like, am I going to question? If I question, will it be a disobedience? I am really... afraid. I don't know how can I step forward, and I cannot move backward anymore.
These 2 weeks I get a lot, things that has done are already done, stuff that be solved is solved. But what about this? what about that, things things keep coming to my mind that really depress me, I am happy to know more people in my life, in the same time I feel sad and... and depressed? because of some pressure coming to me that really hinder me to choosing a right way, left or right? which road should I take, I just want to stop walking. I am sad, I am discouraged... from the very first of this year I was, I am, but I will be not, how can I tell myself that?
I wanna shout out loud for my foolishness, for my uselessness that I cannot solve a problem and cannot console myself for many things, yet I called myself as one of a leader in church, am I fooling myself? am I misusing my ability? Am I.....
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