SIGH

Now it's my time to spread out my voice, as the holiday that I spend is going to be shorten, I always worry about my result will not be good enough for me to go into college. Many people said that I am lacking of confident, but why I can't feel that, I really think that I am not that good enough to get a 3 credits result instead of no confident.
I try not to worry, but I can't do that, when people ask me am I studying college, I have a worriness in my heart that 'Am I really studying next? or I will be working because my result is too bad.' Sometimes compare me myself to my friends future, I am very sad that I afraid that I will not be like them can study college and continue their college life.
I think I am really fed up, I don't know what happen, I always think that I can't do it, I can't do it, even many people comfort me, but I am still worry and my mind telling me I can't. People can study at future firmly, but I am still shaky, can I really do that? keep asking myself is not solving any problem, but what can help me to release my knots.
I am too worried until I can't focus on something that I like. Since now, to me, dream is just a dream, when u imagine, it just can in your mind. from kindergarten until now, I didn't really plan for myself, what school am I going to in, which class am I going to in. SO what I plan now, I don't have confident that it is going to achieve, because, what I planned, I can't achieve, what I achieve, not what I planned. So I think this is also. aybe after result come out, I will give up for college and start to work, to continue my path, even how best I try in my exam, I have no confident in it anymore....