I don't know why, but I hate heading forward.
within a few weeks, there are many things to do.
I always teach my friend: when things come a lot, you have to choose to give up.
learn to choose what is your passion, and learn to make a right choice.
But to me, I am too afraid, because I am like a chicken.
I am afraid to choose what is my priority.
Performance, study, camp, BB, all come like a rainy season.
Each drop is falling upon me and I can't deny it.
What can I do I just being in the rain, make myself wet.
I am growing up but my skill is getting lower.
I think I have to give up something, honestly, I have to learn to say "no"
If not I will be very tired.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
有时候，当你看到别人，你会问，为什么我和别人这么不同？
无论言行举止，成绩，人格，样子，受欢迎度，运气，都不能和别人比。
反正世界就是这样，不公平的终究是不公平，无论你到哪里，地球还是一样的转，世界永远都不会变。
身边出现的人越来越多，有母性的我也开始放弃照顾小的宗旨了。
他们自己会适应的，也不用变得那么好客了，你怎么对人不等于别人怎么对你。
以为我能够做到，但是实在是太累了，真的很累。
晚上坐下来回想时，差点要垮掉，因为要在人前演戏，真的很累人。
也许，我已摆脱以前的我，但是，我现在想变回以前那一个
那一个朋友不多，情绪化，小气，不爱开玩笑的我，至少不用那么累。
不说话的时候也能想想，想下有什么东西做。
不知道一个静静的我，沉默的我会带给别人什么影响。
身边的演员实在太多，我已经放弃，不想再把感情放在他们身上。
我不会再虚伪，还是我从来就不。
快，狠，准，一向来是我说话的方式，也许已得罪了人，是时候用沉默的自己来挽回,或再次得罪？
无论言行举止，成绩，人格，样子，受欢迎度，运气，都不能和别人比。
反正世界就是这样，不公平的终究是不公平，无论你到哪里，地球还是一样的转，世界永远都不会变。
身边出现的人越来越多，有母性的我也开始放弃照顾小的宗旨了。
他们自己会适应的，也不用变得那么好客了，你怎么对人不等于别人怎么对你。
以为我能够做到，但是实在是太累了，真的很累。
晚上坐下来回想时，差点要垮掉，因为要在人前演戏，真的很累人。
也许，我已摆脱以前的我，但是，我现在想变回以前那一个
那一个朋友不多，情绪化，小气，不爱开玩笑的我，至少不用那么累。
不说话的时候也能想想，想下有什么东西做。
不知道一个静静的我，沉默的我会带给别人什么影响。
身边的演员实在太多，我已经放弃，不想再把感情放在他们身上。
我不会再虚伪，还是我从来就不。
快，狠，准，一向来是我说话的方式，也许已得罪了人，是时候用沉默的自己来挽回,或再次得罪？
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I am also the Same
Communication, it is the tool that you might have with people in this life and world. Recently I will always tell people that struggle with their decision that made by their parents, and said that communication is a best tool for you.
But, in my life, my area, I am a failure, i don't dare to talk with my father if I got something need to shout out loud. I am not a good communicator, I fail all the time.
But, in my life, my area, I am a failure, i don't dare to talk with my father if I got something need to shout out loud. I am not a good communicator, I fail all the time.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Disappointment
Like I said, don't give people hope if you don't wanna fulfill it, especially for your son. You guys may think: Sam, you get disappointed by your parents?, Yea, apart from that, story begin.
Still remember my father said he asked me to ask the price? yea, at last I got the cheap price ever. But guess what? "son, don't be so rush, I don't say I wanna buy." After hearing this, imagine a emotional human who waited something he expected for 1 year and yet his father didn't even care for it then said this to him. That time my mind is chaos, as I expected, parent always break promise, I am ready for it.
I am not sad for not buying the camera, but I am sad that I had this kind of father, which he called me to ask price for DSLR is just acting in front of his friends, showing off... I told myself not to cry, because I am not a kid anymore, I am not a kid in a supermarket where my parents don't buy things to me I will cry all the way home, I should think and calm down, I must be strong, because I will not trust on anyone including family on major things anymore.
After that word, many things come into my mind, we all know that that's not money problem, its already been 3 days, this thing hinder me a lot, my friends who knew my feeling come and confronted me, just fine, I will not hold a single camera anymore, this kind of action make me sick of camera, from now on, I will not be a photographer, never ever. I will work all the way myself next time to get the thing I want.
Still remember my father said he asked me to ask the price? yea, at last I got the cheap price ever. But guess what? "son, don't be so rush, I don't say I wanna buy." After hearing this, imagine a emotional human who waited something he expected for 1 year and yet his father didn't even care for it then said this to him. That time my mind is chaos, as I expected, parent always break promise, I am ready for it.
I am not sad for not buying the camera, but I am sad that I had this kind of father, which he called me to ask price for DSLR is just acting in front of his friends, showing off... I told myself not to cry, because I am not a kid anymore, I am not a kid in a supermarket where my parents don't buy things to me I will cry all the way home, I should think and calm down, I must be strong, because I will not trust on anyone including family on major things anymore.
After that word, many things come into my mind, we all know that that's not money problem, its already been 3 days, this thing hinder me a lot, my friends who knew my feeling come and confronted me, just fine, I will not hold a single camera anymore, this kind of action make me sick of camera, from now on, I will not be a photographer, never ever. I will work all the way myself next time to get the thing I want.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Appreciative
What I told my senior today was, I discover people who study or working under a particular school or company would not appreciate their on "working" place".
I am not a person who like to rub shoes(it is definitely tiring), but in my own opinion, I think sometimes we should really think and evaluate ourselves. Okay let's give some example, students always blame on college facilities and lecturer and some sort so far bla bla bla, don't wanna talk much.
But sometimes in my opinion, I am a student who study here, whenever the student leader need help, I will go and help. When asking me to involve in an event, I accidentally(some sort) said, if you need me, I will be there. Because you are the member there if you don't support, who will? right? I am not those who like to appear in event to let people see that I am actually talented!!! please! look at me!! I am so good!! But sometimes in event, I can gain experience, knowledge(old word, bored of this), so ya, because I just wanna help, so easy.
I am not a person who like to rub shoes(it is definitely tiring), but in my own opinion, I think sometimes we should really think and evaluate ourselves. Okay let's give some example, students always blame on college facilities and lecturer and some sort so far bla bla bla, don't wanna talk much.
But sometimes in my opinion, I am a student who study here, whenever the student leader need help, I will go and help. When asking me to involve in an event, I accidentally(some sort) said, if you need me, I will be there. Because you are the member there if you don't support, who will? right? I am not those who like to appear in event to let people see that I am actually talented!!! please! look at me!! I am so good!! But sometimes in event, I can gain experience, knowledge(old word, bored of this), so ya, because I just wanna help, so easy.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Team Work
Teamwork... in many sense it talks about reliable and dependant to each other, which mean 1 man cannot do 1 thing, we need a team to finish all those works.
When come to this, we always tend to say this, no hero, which is equivalent to no 1 man show, but is it all heroes are individualistic? except for those comic characters, but honest speaking, that's hard to finish 1 thing with 1 man show, which we require a lot of teamwork inside it.
Come back to my life, to me, I don't really depend on people(except for those who really reliable), because I got disappointed quite a lot of time, but I still moving on as what who am I now. That's what I been through, neglected, betrayal, mocking, insulting by friends and teammates, but I still moving out, by enduring all my tears which make me today.
I said to myself before do not rely on people and everytime I do things and in action, I shall play as 1 man, but I found my strength is limited. Two is better than one, I am still finding a really good partner of mine, sometimes drama really attracts me a lot, especially those who have team spirit and partnership which did a lot of good things out.
Just like Fusion, two weak people came together can actually do a greater things than a successful people, I always believe in this, but I cannot apply it, so sad. Secondary time, I though I found many partners and teammates and all those Two is Better than One stuff,but eventually I failed.
1 man show isn't bad, but it ain't good as well, I tried my best to be individual but God put me into team. BB and my future career, I should learn to trust, but are my teammates trustworthy? no one knows that, so as I.
When come to this, we always tend to say this, no hero, which is equivalent to no 1 man show, but is it all heroes are individualistic? except for those comic characters, but honest speaking, that's hard to finish 1 thing with 1 man show, which we require a lot of teamwork inside it.
Come back to my life, to me, I don't really depend on people(except for those who really reliable), because I got disappointed quite a lot of time, but I still moving on as what who am I now. That's what I been through, neglected, betrayal, mocking, insulting by friends and teammates, but I still moving out, by enduring all my tears which make me today.
I said to myself before do not rely on people and everytime I do things and in action, I shall play as 1 man, but I found my strength is limited. Two is better than one, I am still finding a really good partner of mine, sometimes drama really attracts me a lot, especially those who have team spirit and partnership which did a lot of good things out.
Just like Fusion, two weak people came together can actually do a greater things than a successful people, I always believe in this, but I cannot apply it, so sad. Secondary time, I though I found many partners and teammates and all those Two is Better than One stuff,but eventually I failed.
1 man show isn't bad, but it ain't good as well, I tried my best to be individual but God put me into team. BB and my future career, I should learn to trust, but are my teammates trustworthy? no one knows that, so as I.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Materialism
DSLR, iPhone, Laptop, shoes, and what else? well, there are much more things to talk about that is currently hitz in this world which everybody talks about and has it in their hands.
Let's talk about DSLR, currently I want 1,so, yup, my father approves it. Before I bought I was really thinking: Am I gonna have it because of many people(even 14 years 0ld kid) have it or I really want. But think it carefully, 1 of my interest or passion is actually taking photos and shooting and a simple compact camera cannot satisfy me of course, so I guess ya, I am not that kind of people. (even the shopping mall also so many people holding canon eos, me and my cousin teasing them showing off, must get one greater and more complicated stuff to show off in front of those "showing off" people, hope you know how I feel in that particular time.)
come back to iPhone, the greatest hitz of all time, WOW!! u CRAZEEE man?? well yea, iPhone is something a greatest prove for materialism, they are really like this. in a group of 5, we can clearly see that 4 of them(or even the fifth one has it) holding and actually moving the screen, but actually by comparison, college students don't really need it much, unless you are a part time boss of a company that's need to check e mail regularly, honestly, even my brother and I are satisfied with our phones. So a phone for you to play song and game and whatever it should be, it is something not neccessary for my age. iPhone, lolx, I am not a sour grapes, but actually ya, to see something that I don't have now, I feel that I am quite happy with these things.
Let's talk about DSLR, currently I want 1,so, yup, my father approves it. Before I bought I was really thinking: Am I gonna have it because of many people(even 14 years 0ld kid) have it or I really want. But think it carefully, 1 of my interest or passion is actually taking photos and shooting and a simple compact camera cannot satisfy me of course, so I guess ya, I am not that kind of people. (even the shopping mall also so many people holding canon eos, me and my cousin teasing them showing off, must get one greater and more complicated stuff to show off in front of those "showing off" people, hope you know how I feel in that particular time.)
come back to iPhone, the greatest hitz of all time, WOW!! u CRAZEEE man?? well yea, iPhone is something a greatest prove for materialism, they are really like this. in a group of 5, we can clearly see that 4 of them(or even the fifth one has it) holding and actually moving the screen, but actually by comparison, college students don't really need it much, unless you are a part time boss of a company that's need to check e mail regularly, honestly, even my brother and I are satisfied with our phones. So a phone for you to play song and game and whatever it should be, it is something not neccessary for my age. iPhone, lolx, I am not a sour grapes, but actually ya, to see something that I don't have now, I feel that I am quite happy with these things.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
初六
不仅不觉，来到了初六，日子过得真快，再过九天，新年就过去了。不知道的人，还以为还能拿红包呢！
最近都很忙，想出来玩一下，松松脑筋很筋骨，因为未来的路很难走。再难走，也要硬着头皮走下去。
时间分分秒秒的过，我就越来越心酸，想起新年前，有多么的想过年，现在，闷.... 也好，热闹也不属于我的style.
最近都很忙，想出来玩一下，松松脑筋很筋骨，因为未来的路很难走。再难走，也要硬着头皮走下去。
时间分分秒秒的过，我就越来越心酸，想起新年前，有多么的想过年，现在，闷.... 也好，热闹也不属于我的style.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
New Year
Stepping into the 4th day of Chinese New Year, these days of gathering make me feel... a little bit emotional, I don't know why. 4 days... without questioning it is not enough, it is something like a very short and unneccessary and without fun.
Except for visit each other we got nothing to do, seriously, well, maybe that's life, we tend to love something new and fresh, but when comes to 18 to 19 years, it turns tasteless. But, thanks to my friend, Raymond and his brother, father to pursue my father to get a DSLR for me, finally he had approved, now I just have to wait patiently for the price and buy it.
one more thing that I get in CNY, I always wonder, am I studying a right course? I don't know, my result never be so good as I expected, but along the 1 year to study, God actually show me something, but I am still wondering... I am quite lost for what am I studying now. God showed me how people really impressed by my work, especially in church, but... I still wondering for it, hope this is really what I choose is right.
Except for visit each other we got nothing to do, seriously, well, maybe that's life, we tend to love something new and fresh, but when comes to 18 to 19 years, it turns tasteless. But, thanks to my friend, Raymond and his brother, father to pursue my father to get a DSLR for me, finally he had approved, now I just have to wait patiently for the price and buy it.
one more thing that I get in CNY, I always wonder, am I studying a right course? I don't know, my result never be so good as I expected, but along the 1 year to study, God actually show me something, but I am still wondering... I am quite lost for what am I studying now. God showed me how people really impressed by my work, especially in church, but... I still wondering for it, hope this is really what I choose is right.
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